A petition drive has been launched on change.org to sell Montana to Canada for $1 trillion. Apparently, we aren’t using it, so why not? Well, we do store some nuclear weapons up there, but we’re pretty sure Canada wouldn’t know what to do with them, anyway.
Montana lawmakers defeated a resolution opposing the sale, joking that they were open to it. Sure, it’s all fun and games until you realize that being Canadian means you have to play football with three downs on a 110-yard field.
If we’re going to sell Montana, we had better get more than $1 trillion out of the deal, especially if it’s supposed to help us pay off our $22 trillion national debt. Maybe we could throw some of our more troublesome celebrities and athletes in to sweeten the deal. Actually, we could just sell them Joe Montana and see how long it takes them to notice.
If we complete the sale, President Trump might want to build a wall on Montana’s border with Idaho, Wyoming and the Dakotas. Democrats would insist on instead building a snow fort equipped with high-tech cameras.
Vladimir Putin says he’s ready for another Cuban missile crisis. The stage is set. The U.S. has a president skeptical of his own generals; Russia is led by someone who seems a little unstable. It’s Kennedy and Khrushchev all over again, with everything skewed just a bit on the nutty side. What could possibly go wrong?
Another bit of irony: When the first missile crisis happened, a hit song was “Slow Twistin’” by Chubby Checker. Add the words, “in the wind,” and you have a good description of how many people feel about international politics right now.
So, I forget. Are we supposed to forget about the Russia investigation but take Russian threats to national security seriously, or the other way around?